Gracen's spot

On November 29th we celebrated Gracen's 2 month.  My Dad sent the most beautiful flowers remembering Gracen and we were so grateful for the gift of remembering from other family and sweet friends.  Ryan and I both long to be those who "remember" to others ... knowing now the priceless gift it truly is.  My prayer is that the Lord awakens my heart on those special days for others ... that I may remember and celebrate with them.  The messages, notes and phone calls we continue to get are forever a gift to us.  "Gracen's spot" in so very many hearts is beautiful.  I actually have journaled testimonies of our sweet Gracen and look forward to blogging about these (amazing!!) stories.  On my heart this minute is one of 2 super cute sisters.  Alex and Rachel are juniors in high school and Gracen is a special part of their lives.  They have been a part of celebrating her and continue to shine her little light!  I LoVe that her pictures is in both of their lockers (I love that her picture is in hundreds of homes and places)!  Gracen motivates these girls is awesome ways, they get their strength and encouragement from Gracen's same Jesus and when things get hard thank Him for her because they are reminded to trust God in everything.  In fact one of the girls ran a personal best time and finished in the top at a recent cross country meet .... she told her family at the finish: "that race was for Gracen!"  Tears still come at the thought of this, our tiny little baby is a part of big, amazing things!  Gracen indeed has a special spot in so many and as her mom and dad we are blessed beyond measure and want to hear of these amazing stories!  As we see friends who have and continue to be a part of Gracen's story ... joyful tears fall (in grocery stores, parking lots and target) all because of a life God created and is so special, He now holds in His arms.  Gracen's spot is in heaven and is glorious!  We who claim Jesus as our savior and redeemer have a spot where Gracen is and I now celebrate eternity more than I ever have. 
My heart breaks because I hoped Gracen's spot would be here on earth with us.  I hoped her spot would be in our arms to rock her, sing over her, teach her, laugh with her and kiss her.  I think about what she would be doing everyday.  I miss all the things we never got to do with her, and we will never stop missing her.  She fit so perfect in our arms ... I miss that spot she filled in our arms more than anything.  Her spot in our hearts is overflowing and our hearts will always thank the Lord for the gift of Gracen.  I never get a "you look so great for just having a baby!, how old is she?, what's her name?, she is the sweetest thing!"  When we are out and about, obviously others wouldn't know to ask any of these questions, we aren't pushing our 2 month old in her stroller at the store ... but sometimes I just want to scream "I should have a 2 month old baby girl ... ask me about her!, ask me her name!!"  Hopefully I won't ever do this, thankfully Ryan keeps me calm:) 
The beautiful part is ... we KNOW that Gracen has a spot literally with Jesus right this second, thankfully we are part of Christ's family and will celebrate as His children together when we are united again.  The hard part is ... one of Gracen's spots is at the VA.  One of the times we took flowers we stood in disbelief to see our daughters name on the stone, it was as if we just didn't want to believe she wasn't here with us.  Many visit her spot there and are blessed with great peace and gratefulness for what God is doing because of Gracen.  Her flowers are always beautiful and joy radiates through the saying we chose "our sweet girl let your little light shine." and she is, that's for sure.  The spot Gracen has in all our hearts is so big.