God's plan for us is good

It's hard to know where to begin ... the last baby salt updated was about 20 weeks and we were so, so excited for our ultrasound.  This is the one where we could really see our baby and all the amazing growth and development.  This is the one where we could have found out what we were having, but were determined to be surprised in October!  We were ready to praise God for a healthy baby and continue on with how extremely well the pregnancy was going.  I was extra excited to continue on with all the fun planning; which was quickly becoming my very favorite part.  Ryan had just built our beautiful crib and super sweet furniture to go with.  Our bedding is just about the sweetest thing you've ever seen.  The colors, the little trees, little birdies and everything about it is too sweet.  I super organized the baby closet with all the right baskets and bins.  My favorite part was seeing my collection of gender neutral clothes hanging up on tiny little hangers.  It was all going to keep getting better and better; registering and showers ... the sweetest stuff for the sweetest little peanut! 

It has been over a month since that exciting ultrasound and since then our whole world has been flipped.  The unexpected heartbreak that you think just doesn't happen, was beginning to happen in that ultrasound room.  It started with a few concerns, too many to just watch closely and check on next time.  The night of that unexpected news we had never prayed harder for healing.  Our family and close friends were and have been prayer warriors on behalf of our precious baby.  Ryan and I didn't stop praying that night, we prayed complete perfection from the Lord, we cried out that God would re-knit what the doctors were calling unhealthy.  We were speaking His promises over our baby and ourselves.  We stood together and were ready to give God's healing testimony the next day.  We believe in His healing and were ready to give all glory and praise to Him the next day in the doctors office when they found no concerns and couldn't figure out what happened in 24hours.  From the moment God began to create our baby until that day, nothing had changed:  God is good, His plan for us is so good and His love for this baby is larger than life.  Although the outcome after a 2 hour ultrasound with our specialist wasn't what we were hoping for with our everything ... we are holding on to what hasn't changed and that is God and His promises. 

Today things look more different than we could ever imagine.  We've known now for several weeks that we have a very special baby.  What is happening to us, just doesn't usually happen.  The chromosomal medical condition we are facing prevents the development needed to normally sustain life.  We have many unknowns in the next months to come.  We are trusting our doctors and continue to thank God for the doctors He has provided.  We love them all.  They are helping us with as much preparation as they can.  Our baby girl won't be with us here on earth for very long when she does come, it was now so important that we found out what were having and name this little life.  Her name is Gracen Faith Saltzgaber. 

At over 6 months now, there is a round little belly:)  We grow more in love with Gracen everyday.  She is squirming around a lot in there.  She is especially active at night, which I love because Ryan can feel her every single night.  She is used to lots of talking (because I'm her mom), but I think likes hearing Ryan best.  He loves his baby girl and she's so, so blessed to have him as her daddy.  I'm so, so, so blessed to have him as my husband. 

We will keep you updated on Gracen's story and thank you for praying.  Thank you for walking with us during this struggle and sadness.  Thank you for encouraging us by saying you love us and are praying.  This is not how we hoped and never what we pictured; but we have been entrusted with much and are holding tight to God's hope.  We love our little peanut and are celebrating Gracen each day.